Liar, Liar

By: Lori Barrett

Really? Is that true? How can that be?

We all question others at some time or another. That little spider sense tingles and you just don’t recognize that you are being lied to.

I personally don’t get it? Why do people have to lie? Is the benefit of lying worth the disrespect earned once they are caught? The reputation as a liar is a hard burden to shake. Think about the times you’ve been betrayed. Did the villain ever find their way back into your heart?

Most people lie when they are afraid of the consequences of telling the truth. Lying is a form of control. Some people are pathological liars, having learned that they get a rush from manipulating others with their lies. Once they start lying, they have to keep on lying. Sooner or later they forget which particular lie they told and to whom.

I recently experienced this with a former employee. The lies were continual, however innocent. It really didn’t matter to me the details of her relationship with her family, until the stories changed from conversation to conversation. Then, once finding out that a 4.5 hour meeting away from the office was actually a 2 hour meeting, it confirmed that the mere exaggerations couldn’t be controlled and that lying was second nature.

My friend who had caught this gal in the lie knew right off after talking with “the villain” that she was a fraud. Why didn’t I know? I began questioning my ability for discernment of character. Situations played over and over in my head, and I began to examine other situations that had happened and realized that there was probably misrepresentation there as well. Why was I so naive?

We all want to believe the best in everybody. Yet as lying is becoming so accepted, it is more about being innocent until proven guilty. Even then, as we see in the corporate and political world, the guilty often get away with it. Remember the executives from Enron with million dollar property in Florida and O.J. Simpson? Not only do they get away with it, even when there is proof they are lying, they continue to lie. So it must be OK now, right? What kind of example are we setting here for our children?

Lying is intentional, self-serving and habit forming. There is no such thing as a “good lie” or a “half-truth”. A lie is a lie. An omission is a lie. A part truth is not “the” truth. Sure, we have all lied at Christmas or Birthdays, but isn’t it easier to simply state that you can’t discuss something, as opposed to making up a story?

Admitting to a lie builds character. Don’t try to save your butt, save your reputation and tell the truth. People are hurt with lies, consider them instead of yourself.

Do the right thing. Treat people with respect, don’t lie, be trustworthy. It’s all part of building a better community for ourselves, our loved ones and our society.